On a more personal note...

Dear readers,

I would like to apologize for my lack of posts in the last month or so. Please let me explain my absence.

Someone I love very much was very sick. He's no longer sick, but he is also no longer with us. In the weeks preceding his passing, I tried to pretend nothing was wrong. In the weeks preceding those, I really thought he was getting better. (Sometimes optimism is a curse.)

I have been very affected by his passing. We knew each other our whole lives. He was more than a relative; he was my first friend.

When we grew up, we didn't see each other as much as we ought to have done. We both had busy lives that were full of school, work, and other people. Of course, regretting having a busy life then doesn't help how things are now.

Christmas 1976

Instead, I'd like to take this experience and learn from it. I know the topic of this blog is surviving any apocalypse, but please indulge me...

Time is Finite

I know I'm playing the part of Captain Obvious in saying this, but a lifetime is not in fact all the time in the world. Sometimes it's 94 years. Other times it's 36. Others, it's just a few short hours. Cherish every moment. Enjoy your friends and family. Enjoy hanging out by yourself. Make the most of everything you do.

Prioritize Your Life Yourself

In a perfect world, you would be in charge of every moment of your life. Anyone with a job or kids knows that isn't always the case. However, while there may be some instances in which you do not have total control on how your time is spent, remember that you have choices.

For example, you keep going to work every day because you choose to. Yes, I know, I am over simplifying personal economics: just up and leaving your Day Job could have serious consequences. The possible consequences do not negate the choice. Looking forward, saving, and searching for a more satisfying means of money is possible. 

You Are Part of Someone Else's Support Network

Sometimes we forget that we need to help support other people. They aren't just meant to support us. When a loved one dies, he was loved by many. Be sensitive to your friends and family as they were likely also his.

Channel Your Energy

I think it's fairly normal to be sad and weepy and easily disturbed when someone you dies. I suppose the outward expression emotional response must vary from person to person. Everyone has an emotional response. Using the energy generated by those emotions to complete other tasks (like researching computers or new cars) can help you deal with them.

Make Jackson Pollock style paintings. Write poetry. Craft short stories. Build hobby horses. Do whatever it is you do that is your creative outlet. Channel the raw emotions into your art. You will feel better and will create a monument to someone you love, miss, and will always remember.

Chat It Up

Talk to someone. I don't care if you talk to a friend, a therapist, or your cat: the talking is to help you understand and cope with your feelings. (Also, thanks for listening.)

I don't have some pithy summary to give you. Tell me what you think and how you deal with loss. I need a little advice myself.

Cheers,

Heather

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